Wordy, Rambly, Nervous Posting

I admit that I haven't been as active on this blog this semester is mainly because I've felt like as if a lot of what I've done isn't worth sharing. I'm in this weird state of mind where I keep forgetting what this blog is for, but remember it at random times. I post a lot of my studies, whether or not I think they're super great. But for some reason, I feel a strong inkling of nervousness to post my more completed things. Strange sense of nerves I got...

I've also been whirring around with general feelings of anxieties for the past months, too. I'm in one of the best states of mind I can remember myself being in. The last few months alone, I've been less prone to being late to my appointments, arranging more time to really get into my studies, and finally getting to a point in my confidence level where I can see that my stuff DOES have potential to go somewhere!

BUT.. that entire mindset is coming with the idea that I DO have potential and always did, but I've been squandering it so I need to HAUL ASS RIGHT NOW. It's also coming with the mindset that I'll be able to really find somewhere to be in life as long as I don't mess up like I have been doing for my life up until recently. I want this to be a long lifetime mindset instead of being like that temporary stroke of obsessiveness I had when I was told my figure drawings were plain awful by a person from my dream school on National Portfolio Day four years ago (how time flies~ O__O ).

Despite my better mindset, I've found myself being very prone to break downs and freakouts whenever something small occurs to challenge and put a wrinkle in my new mindset. I was throwing a fit all over the place last week when I couldn't find where I put my easel. XD I solved it by getting a studio easel because my old one wasn't even strong enough to hold my art board in the first place. >__>;

I digress... back to my main point... I'm still working on throwing that negative "my stuff is not worth sharing..." sort of mindset out of the window because this blog should be for me to track my progress and share it with others as well. It's poison for me to think that my things aren't good enough to share because I've drawn things that I felt were "kinda cool", but my nerves once again, got the better of me and I decided against doing anything about it but deleting it or archiving it away in my computer to collect digital dust.

So, anyways... I'm going to try to be better about that and find some time to post more of my things, specifically some stuff I did for class. I've been taking a storytelling class this semester and my teacher gave us mainly storyboarding and character design assignments. I keep feeling like as if my storyboard skills are poor, so I always get nervous about even thinking about posting them... But that's art, right? Gotta show it off~ I mean, my classmates saw it, so what harm is there for me to post it on here?

So, I'll try to post more often. And expect some more dumpage soon~ : )